Koped from Claire's blog/ DA

“11 Things”. Its therapeutic and insightful. Qns 10 does not pertain to my close family. And no, I’m not going to tell you if you’re right about who you guess or think they are or if you’re on the list.

The rules:

* List 11 things you want to say to 11 different people.

* Don't say who they pertain to.

* Feel free to comment, but don't confirm or answer anything.

* Never discuss it again.

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1. I am so sorry that my temper is back. I shan't push all the blame to stress. But I wanna thank you so much for being so understanding and being there for me always. I guess I sorta became easily frustrated, easily pissed, easily mang zang, and my words became so commanding. I do hate that about myself. I'm trying to mild myself back. Thank you for being such a loving partner. =)

2. Now I know I can never be compared to her. No matter how hard I try, how much effort I put in, I will always be deemed of a lower 'standard' compared to her. I am always the 'bad' person, and she is always the 'good' one. Why is the bias there? Is it that you've never tried understanding me? Or is it that I'm THAT lousy? When I heard your truthful words, I felt so hurt. I thought I can explain it with words to you, but you wouldn't listen. I tried a few times, they failed. I've always thought I can win some attention, I've always thought I can make you proud, and I've always thought that you thought I care for you. I was wrong, maybe I think too highly of myself. Yes, now i know there can never be equal fairness, because God is fair.

3. Let's move forward with confidence in our careers, with each other's support, I believe we can do it. =) You've always been lovely and supportive of me. I will continue to support you too, jia you!

4. To 2 person: It had been a really nice experience working with both of you, if not, I'll probably quit long time ago. I feel so loved! hahahahah! but anyway, BOSSY BEE HOON IS THE BEST!! wheeee .. random.

5. You're so adorable and sweet! I always liked the way you come to me, sniff me and when I stroke you, you lie down with comfort. You're so pretty that wherever you go, you get all the attention, but I dont mind! You're always there when I'm bored at home. =)

6. I wonder who you are. Are you the one that you used to be? Or have you changed? I felt the transition in you, I felt the not-you. Have you blended into one of them? Today we talked about conforming to different groups of people differently in CT discussion, are you one of them? I think you are. So how are you going to pull yourself out? You have not totally blended in with them, neither are you yourself. So who are you now? Where is your REAL identity? Is it lost? I am heartbroken when I see you like that. Confused by your identity now.

7. Do you know you're so damn irritating? Please be more responsible in what you're doing. If you cannot cope, please give up some things in your life to make it balance.

8. Thank you for listening to my complains, grumble, frustrations, anger, pissy-ness and unreasonableness. To be honest, you're such a great friend for listening to this kinda stuff in my life. Really thank you for your patience =)

9. Thank you for appreciating me and my work. Thank you for being such a nice friend to me, helping me and thought of me wherever you are, I really hope you succeed in the thing you're doing now =)

10. I love you but I hate you at the same time. I think somehow when I'm with you, I feel proud for you and for myself. You gave me the life that i want, but not the future I really want.

11. Thank you for helping me to capture bugs in my room. You've been a patient one, tolerating my short temper when I'm frustrated with you for no reason. Life w/o you probably would be a bore.

okay finished 11.
posted by Cecilia @ 10:32 PM 

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Salsa night
Saturday, November 04, 2006